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Truly FEEL the change

Updated: Nov 18, 2023

When we have been in a state of overcoming for much of our lives, it can be difficult to surrender to the fact that there is no longer anything to overcome. Willful overcoming and goal-centeredness become an entrenched way of being-one that is associated with our very survival-and it can be difficult to slow down and realize that we made it out. That we are no longer at risk. That we created a healthier, safer reality.

This is as true for people who overcame poverty as it is those who made it out of unsafe home environments.



Many of us, and I am one of them, have great difficulty recognizing and integrating the fact that we are no longer back there. Our minds know we got out, but our animal bodies are still carrying the same anxieties that fueled our overcoming. In my own experience, the key to the shift in awareness is developing our capacity for surrender to our bodies.


Only when we can drop down below our willful warrior, only when we can slow down and truly FEEL the change, will we be able to integrate the fact that we are no longer back there. For us to know the war is over, we have to allow ourselves to breathe deeply into the beautiful world that we have created with our own efforts. We have to raise the white flag in our hearts.


This is no easy feat, surrendering brings up old anxieties at first, but we stay with it, it will become a natural way of being, and the wars of overcoming , slowly a thing of the past.

Colleen Tretton, LPC, SEP


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